Grace in Waiting
I’ve never been the best at waiting. Waiting usually comes with unanswered questions—and sometimes those questions are unanswerable. Which is my least favorite part of waiting.
When Tee and I first accepted the call to Tokyo Lutheran, we had a tentative timeline to be in Japan during the first week of September. In early August, we found out our visa might be delayed 3-4 MONTHS, putting us in Japan, at the earliest, sometime in October, but potentially not until the end of November.
When we received this news, I’ll be honest, both the mom-side of my brain and the pastor-side of my brain went a little haywire.
Megan the Mom did the calculations and decided that our children would be super behind in school when we finally got to Japan and jumped into planning mode.
Pastor Megan, being a bit more levelheaded than Mom-Megan, spent some quiet time praying for the congregation because this kind of news can be difficult for congregations too.
But then—not to be outdone by Megan’s relentless desire to plan—God stepped in and filled August with absolutely beautiful, sun soaked, radiant days. The kind of days that you look back on in the blistering cold and dark of winter and just sigh with a soul deep longing.
When I told God I wanted to just sit at the kitchen table and vigorously plan short term solutions—God snorted and sent our four-year-old, Sacha, with questions about minnows and filled our seven-year-old, Saya’s, heart with a FIERCE desire to learn to paddle boat.
And so, we went to the lake.
We spent August cruising across the lake on Saya’s paddleboat (which he spent June and July saving up for) and catching minnows for Sacha to study (which we’d release back to the lake before we packed up to go home)
Now, as we venture into September, still no word on our visa—I look back on August and give God a firm nod. Yep, that might not have been how I expected things to go, but it was, perhaps, the very best of how it could have gone.
I hope to close most of our posts with a little moment of grace—and if you need one today—try this one out. See how it feels in your spirit.
Waiting, unanswered questions, they can be incredibly painful. I’ve often felt like my spirit is stretched, painfully, between two or more realities—the reality that could have been, the reality we’re living in—and maybe the reality that I have to say goodbye to—which is most painful of all.
I’m not saying that anything in particular helps with this peculiar kind of grief. But what helped me over the last month or so—has been noticing beauty, when and where it meets me. Beauty seems to be a bomb, of sorts, to waiting. I think it’s because it forces me to slow down the moment; to hold back my racing thoughts for a moment and just be. And so often, beauty is surprising enough that it feels like a gift. It breaks through my worries and holds my spirit for a moment. And when I’m set back down—it almost feels like I had a rest.
So, there’s my blessing for you, dear reader.
May beauty accompanies your days.
May wonder dog your steps.
May the gold-glinted grace of God
Sparkle unexpectedly when the shadows are longest.
May joystick to you like glitter
Reminding you of your belovedness
In the waiting and always. Amen.
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OOOOO BOY! Grab your passports and do your laundry***, Megan is GOING TO TOKYO!
I just received word from Global Mission that they are sending me ahead of our family to look at housing and school options. I will also get to meet the congregation at Tokyo Lutheran and explore Shinjuku.
I will leave at the end of September; and return sometime in October. We would cherish your prayers for:
–Safe travels
–Good health
—
***Maybe not a common sentiment, but the one I need 😀
